Never Lose Infinite Hope

Restored Post from November 21, 2011

First I’m re-posting a blog dated from 31 March 2011, which is coming close to being a year old now. I came across it from my old blog page, I believe before this one [Porcelain Utopia] even came to be. It was listed high as far as reads and it having re-read it myself, it made me think—mostly about change. Have I changed since then? Has the schizophrenia changed since then? Is the mental illness really a “third party,” and not me, or does Jonathan = Schizophrenia.

The re-print follows. I’ll consider adding to it. The Day is Still Mine but… not entirely.

MARCH

31

THE DAY IS MINE

Hello Everyone—

Since I had been having manic episodes the last couple weeks, I met with the psychiatrist and we tweaked some of the tablets (sometimes prefer to call them, “psych meds!”). As a result I have been feeling quite irritable. And even paranoid. It will take some time for the new regimen to kick in.

Since I tend to recommend to others to stay positive and everything, I think that I need to step back and practice what I preach.

I have so many complaints today, mostly about other people, and things that I have no control of – so I need to step back and become an observer of myself. Little things are bothering me and well as much larger things, and a lot of things from the past.

I guess when someone is paid to do things for me, I will, no matter what, have gripes about what they are doing and how they are or aren’t doing things.

But I have to remind myself that these people, at least on a deep spiritual level do love and care for me, and are here to help. To possibly do things, and behave a certain way, might actually be for my own good.

I’m sure this is the Schizophrenia talking, but I am quite paranoid that the people around me do not give a damn about me, and are doing what they want around here – that they are doing secretive things. I know this to be true, but at the same time, I realize this is likely not true. It’s like I’m in both worlds at once – both realities.

I’ll try to make today the best it can be, and let some stuff go. I’m likely to record and post another Real Me audio blog this afternoon.

Paranoia and misunderstandings can be a real killer.

I hadn’t even wanted to write today, or even do much of anything, but I decided to, because the more I share and be open about things, and, of course involve the illness, which I often just belittle by saying that, “Schizophrenia plain sucks…” I end up helping myself. Having written the little bit that’s above has already made my day a little more peaceful.

Truly, for anyone, life can really suck. But I’m remembering to keep a reasonable perspective and just go with the flow.

I am no saint. But we’re all saints, in a way. All children.

So keep it going. Get trampled in the thunderstorms, but just be who you are. That is what I am doing. And it seems to be working.

I am definitely irritable, but I had to get some of this off my chest, and stay connected with Source. It is literally all I have. All that I know I have. There’s likely more that I have that’s good and going well for me, and when I’m able to come back to the place where I might realize it, it will likely be a very pleasant surprise.

Stay well, everyone.

Sincerely,

Jonathan

Post Script: Now half an hour later, I have found some resolution. Communicated with some people, and have found resolve. Having identified the issues at their core, and communicated about them in a healthy, non-violent fashion. The rest of the day is mine! Thank God for that. I’m doing alright, and will be back!

* * *

And now, today is 21 November 2011—the beginning of the new week, and the end of one rough week, to put it mildly.

I sit in my office, after promising myself I’d not even turn on the computer or phone, or anything of the like. But I have.

I had been thinking about blogging and podcasting all week, but I didn’t want to actually do it—do anything at all.

I’ve been off my mark, for a while, and the paranoia still haunts the living hell out of me. Most—not all—people I feel are out to get me. To send me away, to not listen to me, and my doctor, especially—the one person whom I should be able to trust the most, has been advising and suggesting things to me that are simply not good for me, but I feel “stuck” with her. I’ve invested time with her, I’ve emptied my soul to her, and I can’t give up—and won’t give up.

I find that she interrupts me, doesn’t let me get many words in, and becomes distracted easily, with what feels to me to be everything that has nothing to do with my medical care. I could bad-mouth her all day long, but I don’t feel that would be right, and she really is, in fact a terrific doctor and person who often goes out of her way for me. The schizophrenia, the paranoia gets in the way, and I just have to roll with it; it can be tough. The point is I am uncomfortable with her and others, mostly due to the paranoid feature that schizophrenia has on me. It feels like a pressure. It tastes and smells like soil. It sounds like confused people bickering in Grand Central Station. It feels like impending doom, but with hope. Hope that I might actually be safe. Hope that I might actually be in good hands. Hope that there is such a real thing as hope. I have it. It’s one thing that keeps me going.

It’s just that—hope. But it works. It always has worked.

It’s all I have—Hope. I have no possessions that are actually my own. House, car, things I have copyrighted and patented, even my own mind—it’s as if my own mind is not mine at all. Due to the schizophrenia, it’s become nearly a foreign entity. Something out of the ordinary, that’s not my own. Thank God I have the ability to at least know this enough to be able to describe it to you, I laugh inside.

So many times, and I’ve been clean and sober coming up on nine years, but I feel like I just want to be overmedicated—but as a former drug addict, I would need the doctor’s permission. And I cannot attain it.

I feel that the medicine I’m on, plain and simple, is not making me feel good, and I think that medicine, if that’s what I need to take—and not go to Tibet to seek out True Enlightenment instead—is not having the effect of making me feel better. Overall, I do not feel good. I have my good days and my good moments, but overall, I do not have any peace of mind nor do I feel helped by the medicine—I don’t feel good. I don’t. Everyone else says to me how much better I’m doing but I’m not being heard. I don’t feel good, and I would rather be sleeping and like a zombie instead. Of course that’s against the rules, and I’m not going to go over to the “War Zone” in Albuquerque and seek out some good hits of LSD—I really just want those who count—mainly my psychiatrist—to hear what Jonathan has to say, about how I feel and for her to F-ing do something about it.

I feel like I’m just giving her information over and over again, and I’m not even given feedback in return that has anything to do with what I might say. I’ve been feeling like I just want “relief.” Wishing I could sign onto the Internet and find someone who is in the business of:

“Have You Got a Chaotic Life? Feel Like You Got the Wrong Deal? I Will Fix Everything For You. Sign Up Below.”

...Let me sign up for that. I bet we all would like to.

*UPDATE: Now that the day has unfolded and it's later in the afternoon, I feel settled as I relax (without any overmedicating). I think I'm doing just wonderfully!

Hope all of you are as well...

Jonathan Harnisch

Being Noticed

If you don't get noticed, you don't have anything. You just have to be noticed,
but the art is in getting noticed naturally, without screaming or without tricks.

— Leo Burnett

RE: LAST POST

Dear Readers,

Re: THROUGH THE SCHIZOPHRENIC LENS: A GENUINE NOTE

I believe that the last post I wrote--which I have since removed--came from my heart, and was genuine. I meant no harm or humiliation personally to anybody at all--it never even crossed my mind that it would--and although it was shared and retweeted almost 250 times, within just a few hours, I hope that it was due to the "Schizophrenic Lens" aspect to it, and nothing personal. I sincerely meant no harm whatsoever and was simply attempting to portray the general solitude and delusion that the illness of schizophrenia has on me, and perhaps a lot of others with the illness. I will perhaps attempt, another time, to rewrite the post focusing on the aspect of the way that the schizophrenic mind causes a "seeing through an altered lens," which then, ultimately can bring one to a general place of despair, and isolation. I might just move on to something else entirely, for example, a letter I received from a mentally ill reader of Porcelain Utopia, whom I seemed to have touched in a positive way. We'll just see. For now, I am shutting down for the evening after a well-needed massage, and hopefully some good rest ahead. Thank you, and my most sincere apologies to anybody who felt humiliated by my honesty. Again, I meant absolutely no personal harm or humiliation to anybody.

Thank you,

-Jonathan Harnisch

Getting Out of the Funk through Art

Yes, working on some new art to escape the "36 Chambers" [to quote Wu-Tang!] Just laid down some laid back vocals and remixed a new 3D Remix Demo of Schizophrenic & Caregiver's "Tragic Backyard" from the 'New Sunday' Album:

--Audio Link: S&C's TRAGIC BACKYARD [3D REMIX DEMO]

Here's some literature, music, and film stuff I'd like to share: Each are available on the "Pages" on the right side of the page, as well, plus, please visit Schizophrenic & Caregiver on Facebook, and Like it if you like it!

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View my profile on  

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STEPPING OUT

Best Lesbian Love Stories 2010 (Anthology)

True Love is unforgettable. Once it finds its way into our lives, it takes us on exciting new adventures and transforms our lives forever. Best Lesbian Love Stories collects the year’s top 17 tales of lesbian love. Whether it's the butterflies that accompany a high school crush, the longing and final contact with the girl next door, a chance encounter among strangers that blossoms into sudden sexual intimacy or the enduring connection of long term partners, the stories n this collection are tender, passionate and hot.

EASY STEPS TO THE PERFECT PEDICURE

Sexiest Soles: Erotic Stories About Feet and Shoes (Anthology)

 

Delight in that delicious touch of steely stilettos … delicate arches … black motorcycle boots … sweaty size twelves. Whether it’s the gentle massage of a foot rub, the suckling of tempting toes, or a very private pedicure, this naughty collection of fetish erotica has no trouble putting its best foot forward. Both risky and risqué, Secret Soles will make more than an imprint on your desires.

Welcome to THE FETISH CHEST. It’s that secret place you go to unleash your inner fantasy and indulge your wildest dreams. It’s that hidden place where your hungers are satiated, and your obsessions are fulfilled. It’s that forbidden place where gender is transcended and sexuality has no limits. Unlock the chest, and live your fetish.

PORCELAIN UTOPIA: THE OXYGEN TANK

Novel by Jonathan Harnisch

 

Porcelain Utopia brings a crisp, manic tone to the field of transgressive literature. The novel details the consciousness of Benjamin J. Schreiber, a trust fund baby with an addiction problem, a constellation of lurid sexual fetishes that shrink into petrified silence in the presence of actual women, and a half-dozen psychiatric disorders ranging from Tourette’s syndrome to schizoaffective disorder. When the drifting, thirty-something writer is taken into police custody for trying to rob a non-cash bank with a threateningly brandished cell phone, his father pulls some strings that land him in court-appointed therapy. Ben’s therapy brings to light the alter ego of Georgie Gust, for whom Ben’s conceptualized a parallel life that both mirrors and channels his own turmoil. With the help of his therapist, Dr. C, Ben navigates the layers of Georgie’s existence, peeling away pieces of his own history, which begins to emerge with a disturbing clarity.

Five part series, to be released soon by babydude publishing, LLC

<a title="Official Porcelain Utopia Website" href="http://www.porcelainutopia.com" target="_blank">http://www.porcelainutopia.com

FILM & VIDEO

Jonathan Harnisch/Porcelain Utopia

YouTube Channel [Porcelain Utopia]:

http://www.youtube.com/user/PorcelainUtopia?feature=mhee

WAX:

http://vimeo.com/6335607

Writer and Executive Producer

Man’s tragic fantasy:

He wanders into a wax museum on the exhibit's last day… The museum comes alive… The mood turns steamy as different fantasies come into play.

A sobering sense of the inevitable begins to creep in … He’s getting married, but to whom?

Accomplishments

1. 2007 Finalist: Vine Shorts Fest Screenplay Competition, The Vine Entertainment - Staged Reading at The Promenade Playhouse, Santa Monica.


2. 2007 First Round Qualifier: American Gem Short Screenplay Competition.

.

ON THE BUS:

http://vimeo.com/6387366

Writer and Executive Producer

Larry, alone and disheveled, carrying a purple bag and bottle of meds, walks the city streets then boards a bus, where he proceeds to disturb the passengers with his erratic behavior and verbal outbursts.

Riding the bus or disturbing the passengers - these are not Larry’s concerns, as one-by-one the passengers disappear, the bus fades from view, and Larry finds himself in the office of a psychologist, who pushes for information, asking again and again if anything “out of the ordinary” happened on the bus? But for Larry, everything - on the bus and off - is completely “out of the ordinary,” and he can’t answer. He can only remember. Endlessly.

He can only grieve:

What he had. What he lost. What he’ll never have again. And so Larry, alone and disheveled, continues to walk the streets, continues to ride the bus, where his love, his grief will be eternally entwined.

Accomplishments

1. Indie Film Award: Best Short Film


2. Indie Film Award: Best Lead Actor


3. Indie Film Award: Best Direction


4. Indie Film Award: Best Cinematography


5. Indie Film Award: Best Writing


6. Accolade Award: Best Lead Actor


7. Accolade Award: Best Direction


8. Accolade Award: Best Editing


9. ReelHeART Film Festival: Honorable Mention


10. SkyFest Film Festival: 4th Place


11. Sarasota Fringe Festival: Finalist


12. Macon Film Festival: Finalist


13. Bare Bones Film Festival: Finalist


14. Kent Film Festival: Finalist


15. Indie Film Jam: Finalist


16. Motion Film Festival: Finalist


17. Big Bear Lake FilmFestival: Finalist


18. Live Interviews with the filmmakers on CBS and NBC TV

Press

1. The Accolade


2. Film New Mexico


3. Alibi Magazine


4. Multivu


5. Official Website

.

TEN YEARS:

http://vimeo.com/20893093

Writer, Producer, Director and Editor

After ten years of separation, former prep school sweethearts meet coincidentally and discuss their hopes and dreams together in Long Island, New York. They spend the night together but move on their own separate ways by the morning as they struggle with their own inner conflicts.

Accomplishments

1. 1999 Winner: Audience Award, Best Short Film, New York International Independent Film and Video Festival (arms in New York/LA (Laemmle Theatre)/Helsinki/Cannes)


2. 1998 Official Selection: Ohio Independent Film Festival (Cleveland)


3. 1998 Coopers (Private New York Cigar Lounge): showcased privately for former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s Birthday Celebration


4. 1998 Channel 3 TV Nantucket, Rhode Island: “Independent Film Series” - host Jack Garner


5. 1998 Geno Geng Film Festival (Rhode Island Television Program)


6. 1998 Drexel, Mass. Public Television Station: televised twice (AM/PM)


7. 1998 Official Selection: Clermont Ferrand (France) Film Festival & Film Library

.

THE SITTER

Executive Producer

http://vimeo.com/6334893

A husband reads the newspaper while his wife prepares herself to go out to dinner with him. They talk about the news-- that children have been found dead in a local park. Their daughter Maya doesn't want her parents to leave her for the evening, and when the babysitter Anna arrives, everything seems normal--although a little creepy, and once Mom and Dad leave, the babysitter bends down to reach Maya's gaze revealing her vampire teeth. "Want to go to the park," she says, and the film fades out.

Accomplishments

1. Best Horror at New Mexico Filmmaker’s Showcase

.

THE BIG FLUSH:

Writer and Executive Producer

http://vimeo.com/6334842

Plot

In a public restroom, the camera pans the closed doors of 4 stalls, the first has an "out of order" sign on it. We hear gaseous noise, and one by one, three musicians (a guitar player, a bass player, and a trumpet player all wearing tuxedos) flush the toilets and come out of the stalls revealing their musical instruments. Finally, the last to come out is an old lady, Pat (from the "out of order" stall). She goes to wash her hands and is shocked to find in the mirror that behind her, the three musicians, wondering where all the noise came from-- herself or the musicians.

.

F@#KING WONDERLAND:

In Post-Production

www.fuckingwonderland.com

.

HISTORY OF SEX:

In Development

SCHIZOPHRENIC & CAREGIVER:

FEATURING JONATHAN HARNISCH 

Reverb Nation:

http://www.reverbnation.com/jwharnisch

Download the Schizophrenic & Caregiver Mobile App (iPhone & Android):

http://itunes.apple.com/app/id465746166

http://www.reverbnation.com/mobile-app/4160/jwharnisch

"New Sunday" Album released on iTunes:

http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/jonathan-harnisch/id439204131?ls=1&forceArtistPage=1

"New Sunday" Album released on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/New-Sunday-Explicit/dp/B0051XUOR0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1307289151&sr=8-1

"Inside" Album released on iTunes:

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/inside-single/id448895216

"Inside" Album released on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Inside-Explicit/dp/B005BVZVUM/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1312471633&sr=8-2

Facebook:

Schizophrenic & Caregiver on Facebook:

Blip.fm:

Jonathan HarnischSchizophrenic & Caregiver: Featuring Jonathan Harnisch

http://blip.fm/invite/SandC

Last.fm:

Last.fm - Jonathan Harnisch's Total Music Library Page:

http://www.last.fm/user/jwharnisch

Jonathan Harnisch Last.fm Detail:

http://www.last.fm/music/JONATHAN+HARNISCH

Schizophrenic & Caregiver Last.fm Detail:

http://www.last.fm/music/Schizophrenic%2B%2526%2BCaregiver%253A%2BFeaturing%2BJonathan%2BHarnisch


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Jonathan Harnisch

[Porcelain Utopia]



 

 

 

Schizophrenic Recovery: Fragments

SCHIZOPHRENIA. STIGMA. TRAUMA. PARANOIA. GOALS. CHALLENGES. HEALING.

Mental illnesses affect at least 20-25 percent of the world population, as far as I’ve gathered. Many people feel at ‘dis-ease’ to even talk about it, much less acknowledge that they might actually suffer from depression, anxiety—any diagnosis, for that matter—in fear of stigma, or the negative reactions of others, due largely in part to the effects of prejudice and/or a lack of understanding.

For me, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, and I am an ‘un-closeted’ schizophrenic at this point in my adult life because I have kept hidden so many parts of who I am, who I was and who I feared I’d become—and it became a problem. In other words, it caused me discomfort. I wanted and needed to undo it. To ‘come out—’ and to flaunt it, in a way. I feel safe in doing so. There’s nothing for me to really to lose. I can only share with you what I know and experience and ‘help you to help me,’ as they common saying goes.

As it is with trauma, for example, in any form, certain violations of the social sphere are too horrifying to speak about openly, yet even the greatest, and most unspeakable atrocities seem to refuse to be buried, drowned, or ignored. That’s why there is at least knowledge of such ‘crazy notions’ or even ‘lies,’ ‘falsities,’ and whatever is done about them…? I think that depends both on human nature in general, individual people, and, unfortunately, time… Political movements and small steps, seem to shed light, little by little, on mental illness awareness and understanding. Onto treatments and healing… For now, trauma, for example, and even schizophrenia, requires stories that need to be told, in order for the healing process to happen, and in both situations, it’s the stories, the ‘telling,’ that tends in its nature to come out in fragments. Fragments, like shattered stained glass. How is anyone to put shattered stained glass back together?

This morning, my intent is to reach out to those with loved ones with, or those who suffer from schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar, paranoia and/or traumatic stress; and more particularly, those who wish to cope better and perhaps overcome psychiatric symptoms.

As I mentioned, I continue my studies on schizophrenic paranoia and trauma during my free time—free time which I have been allowing myself to enjoy, even if it means I sleep, and ‘waste the day away.’

After all, that’s how this blog post started, at 5 in the morning. See, yesterday, had begun with a sense of boredom. And looking back on it, the boredom was a gift, because it meant that I had finished all my work at hand, mostly computer maintenance, doing my own public relations work with little or no money, and keeping up with current projects such as blogging, podcasting, music, and the like.

This kind of work usually takes up my full day, but it often leaves me feeling either unfulfilled by the end of the day, or completely frustrated.

So having done what I had done, my mind, mostly, no sooner became the enemy. I began to search through my files of old, unfinished writing and film projects, now that they are all labeled and organized—again, that work is done—I wanted to pick back up on at least one of the old projects and follow through with it.

But then, as I began looking around, it became two, then three, then four folders plus one DVD binder I had placed on my desk. I wanted to do it all—publish and bring out to the public—even to those who might not ‘get’ me (understand my work)—then I thought, ‘Gee, what if this office burned down, I’d lose everything—everything.’ I later put the files back, and let it go.

It was my primary caregiver’s day of leaving by noon, and I felt left out by the other two who were present, while later, I realized, ‘Heck, that’s what I would have wanted, anyway.’

As my spiraling downward was worsening, I recalled how my wife’s thyroid medicine had been causing her severe agitation, and while at lunch—out—on Sunday, I mentioned my Christmas plans for all that I was planning to give her, and call me crazy, but I felt, or perceived, likely the wrong way, that she was comparing me to my parents, who… well, that’s a whole different story—and spiraling down, I recalled: that was how the divorce began back in 2009, when I was being compared to my parents.

But my wife and I reconciled in 2010, yet since she has been sick, it has left me feeling distanced from her and my own life, my own self, and then my thoughts brought me to the idea that schizophrenia is a lonely disease—mostly, in my opinion, due to the ‘confusion’ involved—I returned, mentally, to the fragmented trauma, and questioned myself if schizophrenia could also be a form of trauma—‘Perhaps?’ …And then my 20-plus left-undone projects—and that my cats have been fighting here in my office (they’re usually so gentle and sweet as can be) and, just the conclusion that: “This is freaking nuts!”

I tried to meditate—I am usually a total pro at meditation, but for 3 hours I kept trying and trying, until it struck me, ‘no wonder, it’s the trying that is keeping me from meditating’—but at least I am trying to meditate and not refraining from it, altogether.

In addition to the many books I’m reading simultaneously—again, the inability to focus—(and the cats… the cats… the cats… and how they must’ve been picking up on my negative energy—)I have added one more book to the list: Trauma and Recovery by Judith Lewis Herman, M.D.

Rather than writing a book report, at least for right now, since I’m not even through with the reading, I’d like to mention that I want my day to go well—to go better than yesterday. I have devised some goals in belief that the trauma in my life, mostly in my past, is causing a great deal of my paranoid thoughts. I happen to be a believer in the ‘bad mothering causes schizophrenia’ theory that’s since been debunked by modern psychiatry and science. But I think it depends on other factors as well, for example my reaction to the bad mothering whilst my sister, for example, lived in the same childhood home, and has no sign of mental illness.

In a nutshell, this far into my ‘studying’ trauma, psychologically speaking, involves the idea of discrediting of the so-to-speak ‘victim’ and rendering him/her invisible, whether through domestic violence, shell shock, or the old mysterious-at-the-time hysteria, most commonly know to be a psychological disorder in women.

My goals; whether they pan out or not:

• I’d like to enjoy my life more, and my work; to enjoy a sense of consistent peace of mind.
• To have more control over my paranoia and suspiciousness.
• To get better at reality checking if my fears are true or if I’m just assuming they are.
• To understand my thoughts of paranoid nature, and move on with my day-to-day life.
• To relax with people and not simply be paranoid about them.
• To stop avoiding social situations due to paranoid thoughts, and trauma.
• To lessen the distress that paranoia and schizophrenia has on me in general.
• To cope better and better, and have my symptoms occur less and less often…

I think these are well thought out goals, and whether or not I am able to tackle them on my own and/or in therapy, I write them here, if they might be able to help you or a loved one…

I make the day mine, and be the best I can be. I remind myself, and encourage you to do the same; we are all deserving of happiness.

I’m off for a shower and coffee, as I fly away into this day of new opportunities and possibilities. I make it good! I hope you do the same.

Take 2 minutes to relax by imagining a place that is beautiful to you.

Jonathan Harnisch

Paranoia and Suspicious Thoughts

Restored Post from November 8, 2011

Dear Readers, and Friends with Sz, or those with Paranoid and Suspicious Thoughts,

I am winding down for the day, catching up on yesterday's Two and a Half Men episode. I paused the recording, because I have been meaning to Tweet a couple quotes I found in one of two books I'm reading. One of them is called Overcoming Paranoid and Suspicious Thoughts, by Daniel Freeman, Jason Freeman and Philippa Garety; the other is called Overcoming Traumatic Stress, by Claudia Herbert and Ann Wetmore. Both books use the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy [CBT] model, and they're giving me some tremendously helpful insights and coping methods for my situations, especially when they worsen. I recommend these two books highly, as acclaim to the outstanding Recovering Sanity: A Compassionate Approach to Understanding and Treating Psychosis by Edward M. Podvoll, M.D., based of the Windhorse model for treating psychosis.

The two quotes:

"Even a paranoid can have enemies." - Golda Meir

"When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened." -Winston Churchill

...And one more:

"You go into a strange diner in the South and everybody goes quiet, and you realize all the other customers are looking at you as if they are sizing up the risk involved in murdering you and leaving your body in a shallow grave somewhere out in the swamps." -Bill Bryson

I lay crooked and bent on my laptop, and would like to be able to say more about these insights, though I think they really 'say it all'. But instead of leaving you with just that, I'm trying to give myself some good old fashioned 'me time,' and so I'll come back to this when my TV programs are finished.

Likely not much to add, but we'll see... I've been felling very content with life and I do appreciate all the shares and feedback on the last blog post about Wonderland. My intent was to be completely open and honest, and I believe that it shines through. I hope I might have made a difference, even if only small.

If I don't continue this post, I'll leave you with the message that it can all be treated, not cured, but treated--there is a difference.

Stay well, and enjoy each day full of new beginnings, open doors, possibility and promise, hope, and the chance to turn everything around, if needed.

And actually part of my message, if you will, is that I will just post this as it is. My action of committing to giving myself the pleasure of Jonathan time this evening is what I am doing.

Keep the hope and faith alive and well, until next time...

Jonathan Harnisch