After a couple of rough days, I feel like I’m back on track. They followed a solid thirty-day stretch filled with joy, clarity, and progress—so the contrast felt sharper. Lately, my days have mostly been good. Today, I’m just a bit down and tired, nothing I can’t handle.
I've noticed a pattern: the quality of my days often hinges on whether I feel someone is taking advantage of me. It’s hard to tell which comes first—the suspicion or the symptoms. Sometimes I spiral into distrust because I'm symptomatic; other times, the distrust itself seems to trigger the symptoms. And when I act out, people may respond negatively, which just feeds that loop, making it all feel like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Therapy has helped me realize that, yes, people can be unfair or opportunistic—like taking extra smoke breaks while I’m footing the bill. But my therapist reminds me that the key is to process those feelings before reacting in a big way. Talking it out during sessions helps. With time, I usually find clarity and can hold off on reacting impulsively, which makes a real difference.
What’s been working—still—is movement. Getting outside, engaging with others, breaking up isolation. It’s never all-or-nothing. I keep reminding myself: this isn’t black and white. Slow and steady—that’s the way.
Also, I’ve been thinking about diet and noticing some recent weight gain. It might be a good idea for me and my therapist to make a run to Trader Joe’s. I’d like that. I’m confident we’ll find some healthy, tasty food options that work.
